There was a season when we were living in the Dominican Republic as missionaries where life looked very different from the life I had been used to in the United States. We had less convenience, less access, and less of the things I had grown accustomed to reaching for without even thinking about them. Somewhere in that simplicity, I started noticing something uncomfortable about myself: sometimes I wasn’t struggling because I didn’t have enough. I was struggling because enough didn’t feel like enough anymore.
That realization has followed me into motherhood, homemaking, finances, friendships, dreams, and even the way I look at myself. There is always something else we could convince ourselves we need: a bigger house, a better routine, more money, more patience, more opportunities for our children, a different body, a more organized home, or a more exciting life. The list never really ends, because once our hearts learn to measure life by what is missing, there will always be something else to find.
It makes me think about the beginning. Before Genesis 3, there was Genesis 2. There was abundance, provision, relationship, purpose, and most importantly, there was God. Creation was whole and complete before sin entered the story. Then the serpent came into the garden and somehow managed to convince Eve to turn her attention away from everything she had been given and toward the one thing she did not have.
I find that fascinating because Eve was standing in abundance while being persuaded to feel deprived. Sometimes I wonder how often the enemy still uses the same strategy with us. Maybe he doesn’t have to convince us that God has given us nothing. Maybe he only has to keep pointing toward the one thing that appears to be missing until it becomes bigger in our minds than everything God has already placed around us.
That voice can sound different depending on the season. It might tell us to look at what another woman has, what our children do not have, how far behind we feel, what is wrong with our house, what could be better in our marriage, what our bank account cannot afford, or what we wish were different about our bodies. Little by little, we can find ourselves standing in the middle of answered prayers while still feeling empty.
Motherhood has especially exposed this in me. There will always be another activity I could sign my children up for, another curriculum I could buy, another experience I could give them, another part of our home I could improve, or another way I could imagine becoming a better mother. None of those desires are necessarily wrong, but I have had to learn to stop sometimes and ask myself whether something is truly missing or whether I have simply stopped seeing what God has already provided.
I also have to ask whether I am bringing a genuine need before God or asking Him to satisfy an appetite that the world keeps feeding. There is nothing wrong with wanting beautiful things, dreaming, building, improving, traveling, providing for our families, or asking God for more. Scripture does not teach us to become people without desires. Jesus Himself tells us in Matthew 7:7, “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened to you.”
But asking God for more and believing that I cannot be content until I receive more are two very different things. Contentment does not mean that I stop dreaming. It means that my dreams are no longer responsible for sustaining me. It means that I can pray for tomorrow while still receiving today as a gift.
Psalm 23:1 says, “The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.” I have read that verse many times, but I think there is something deeply protective about those words in a world that constantly tells us that we are missing something. The Lord is my Shepherd, not my income, my possessions, my children’s accomplishments, my appearance, other people’s approval, or the version of my life that I keep imagining somewhere in the future.
If the Lord is my Shepherd, then I can trust that He knows what I need. Sometimes His provision looks like giving me more, and sometimes His provision looks like teaching me that I already have enough. Sometimes the abundance is not found in receiving something new at all, but in finally having eyes to recognize what has been sitting in front of me the whole time.
I want to become better at noticing those things: the food on the table, the children making noise in my house, the people who love me, the work God has entrusted to me, the prayers He has already answered, and the ordinary moments that were once things I prayed for. I still have dreams. I still have prayers. I still have places where I am asking God for more. But I do not want the desire for what is next to steal my ability to worship Him for what is now.
A Prayer for the Weary Heart
Lord, quiet my anxious heart. When the world tells me that what I have is not enough, remind me of Your faithfulness and open my eyes to see Your abundance instead of my lack. Teach me to recognize the difference between a desire You have placed inside of me and an appetite the world keeps feeding.
Help me live as a mother, wife, daughter, and woman who is not constantly trying to become worthy, complete, or full, but as someone who knows she is already loved and being formed by You. Give me gratitude for today while I continue trusting You with tomorrow. You are my Shepherd, and You are enough.
Amen.
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